Relationship Psychology Can Help Mend My Broken Heart and Reveal if Conflict Affects Men More?

September 15th, 2010 | jones | Insomnia Help

In trying to overcome conflicts in a relationship, psychology may help us understand why men and women react differently and heal my broken heart. Whether you are dating or in a marriage, you are going to experience the occasional argument. It can make matters worse if the couple’s way of dealing with conflict cause them to make things worse. Whether you are married or just dating, couples have turned to marriage counsellors or other forms of relationship guidance. Most counselling will help you realize some things that may help each understand how the other party thinks.

The National Institute of Mental Health funded a study which showed that intimacy and being dependent on the other party was avoided by couples between the ages of 18 and 21 and only have only been together for a couple of months. Concerns of being rejected or abandoned increased levels of anxiety was also uncovered in the study. Those tested all exhibited different degrees of the anxiety over being abandoned. Of course those who were more secure in themselves had lower levels and others, depending on how they dealt with anxiety and thought about abandonment, reacted differently as well.

What was interesting was the results in both men and women and how different they were. The ones researching relationship psychology using these subjects found that in their physiological reaction to relationship conflict, the reaction in men was more easily noticeable. Most of the reaction was increased anxiety for the majority of men while only those women who are the more avoidant types showed any real changes.

In trying to resolve conflict in a relationship, women are more likely to want to guide a conversation. They are the ones actively working to get the situation resolved in this situation, the psychology shows. While they were showing increased levels of cortisol before and during the confrontation, the levels dropped significantly after the confrontation. More physiologically satisfying to them was getting the conflict over quickly.

However, in conflict resolution men showed to be more passive. Although they weren’t anxious to confront the conflict head on, there was evidence that they, too, wanted the conflict to be resolved. Men showed lower levels of anxiety who had female partners who were more secure. Women showed no change in their levels of anxiety whether their male counterpart was secure or not.

Whether you go to family therapy or psychologists to seek out relationship advice, they are going to try to help you understand how men and women react differently. Studying the effects of conflict in men and women in the above research will help you know why they react the way that they do in the relationship. Psychology and physiological research on relationship conflict will help you to deal with it and mend your broken heart.


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